i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
