(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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