He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
