waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
