she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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