my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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