You work out of a Hotel?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
