If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
