I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
