too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
