i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
