Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
