we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
