I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
