Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
