oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
