i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dick very happy bro
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
