I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
