I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
