weddingsv make me drug and hornr
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Success! We fucked roommates!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
