i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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