I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
