remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
