Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
