"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
