just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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