Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
