is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
