smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
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