So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
