The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
