this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
