did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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