1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
