I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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