just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
