good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
