after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize