My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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