it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
