I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
