Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
