dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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