I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
