I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I didn't notice because vodka
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
