At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
