I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
