wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
