happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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