But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she peed on how many people?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
