are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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