she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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